Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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