I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
