you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
