For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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