I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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