apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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