they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
