So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
whose parrot is this?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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