Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
