but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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