I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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