Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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