I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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