Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
