i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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