Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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