i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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