so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
