Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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