Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
