Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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