He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
