I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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