You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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