soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
