I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I deserve this hangover.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
