we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
