Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
