Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
