u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
