i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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