Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
