I cannot find my penis.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
