This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The struggles of a small town man whore
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
