She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
