HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
