dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
