i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
