So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
