you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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