sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
