I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
