He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Alive.
So much puke
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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