the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize