I'll bet she douches with gravy.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
