some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
