Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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