So drunk its hurt
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
