Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
