So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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